A dude named Avant called me yesterday on my new Iphone.  Dude was talking all fast like he was excited.  After calming him down a bit he tells me that my lil cousin who is built like he belongs in the NFL has given my name and number to get me free passes to come work out at 24 hr fitness.

I call cuz and he is like yeah...but if you don't wanna do it don't worry about it.  

I tell him about me considering Shao-Lin Kung fu.  He laughs.  I guess it is quite funny being in your upper 30's and trying to gain discipline in health and self defense.  I can get down in them streets with self taught brawling but its like no science in that.  Unless you dissect it as such.  With the Shao-lin system they teach over 900 forms; which I might add will take a lot of years to gain that.

Lil big Cuz has his degree and wanted to be a football coach.  He isn't so fortunate as of yet but he did get away from that physical slave ass labor at American Furniture and is now teaching kids.  I think its more like the handicapped kids...but none the less he is in a school environment.  This is a step closer to where he wants to be...so I applaud him...success.  Anyways I say all of this cuz he is like you can start working out with me...my schedule has changed from when I used to work  @ American furniture.   He works out 4 days a week.

Along with my vegetarian habits I can see the benefit in the workouts; not to mention getting that body tight for my wife to oggle over.  I think I want more than just cut and physique.  I want to apply mind and body and learn forms of fighting.

(Looking out into my parking lot...I am glad I had the day off today)

Hell with all this fuckin' snow out here I feel like I am in a Rocky Movie training for a fight pushing 600lbs-800lbs of shit through that snow.  I can't tell you how many times I slipped on ice, pulled muscles and ripped muscles working out here in this snow.  The shit is still coming down.  I tell you what...these are times where pride kicks in and I want to be like fuck this!  Come get your truck....Im done.  Then I start thinking about how I lost everything back in GA my money, house, cars and almost my wife and son.  I man up and do what needs to be done.  I swear selling dope appears to be an alternative; yet of course I can't go this route...because it a disrespect to self, family and my nation.  So gotta keep toiling until my own thang surfaces.  Capt!  I sort of got away from the animations and I am on a new endeavor.  I think about trying to apply for a small business loan...but I don't cause I don't want to owe no more folks.  I still owe Sallie Mae damn near $50,000 for school.   Plus I don't want my business to be white man built...nubian money, nubian base and nubian sweat, blood and tears.  I know this is limited in thinking but when I witness the confusion in corporate mentality I get sick and don't want to waste time.  These are just thoughts but in the end...reality will be what it is. smile

My steps to health.

1.  I know that I am disease free, high blood pressure free, and sickly free.

2.  I let go of eating meat because of the inhumanity that goes on with the animals and plus the high concentration of uric acid captured in the flesh, plus its pump with hormones and dyes.  Get it Dyes/Dies?

3.  I work physical labor blue collar work...which gives me a cardio and strength building workout.  This won't be for too much longer because I rather use my mind and creativity to support myself and family.

4.  I have meditated and came to the conclusion that Nuwaubu is my way of life and I need to act as such.  I have gotten back into the scriptures and our sacred documents.  Knowledge gained as you age becomes more clear as your experiences increase.

5.   I am at a point to where I need a conscience work out plan or like I had said the self defense aspect which also gets one in top physical shape.  I have also thought about trying out boxing, but I don't like the ideal of getting my head rocked and my brained rattled.  My wifes best friends husband is a boxer...and from what I hear he is trying to get out of it.

I knew a brother in the lodge who fought in the octagon.  His focus was supreme and his physical was disciplined.  He was a great inspiration back then when I was just skimmin' across the possibility but couldn't really see me doing it. 

Everything is a process and so far this journey is becoming very rewarding.  

Plus My Bogs Came!  I will be testing them out tomorrow.  I ordered them from Zappos.com...they were a hundred...but the cool thing is that I didn't have to pay shipping!

As I said in the last post I was going to go and check out the Chinese Shao-Lin Martial Center this Saturday.  I did as I said I would do.  I traveled to the other side of Denver.  Let me add Google maps are 1000x better than that ol raggedy ass get you lost map quest.

As I pulled onto 38th street I was looking out of both sides of my windows to locate the center.  I rolled right past it and caught a glimpse out the corner of my eye.  I made a U turn and went back up the street to where the center was.  Being it was located on a main street I wondered where the hell do I park.  As I past the center again I made an immediate right hoping that I would see some back of the bldg parking...I didn't.  The street was adorned with homes...so I had to find a parking space on the street outside of someones home.  I did just that.  Got out of the vehicle and proceeded to walk to the center.  Questions in my mind...I was eager to get some answers.

Excited when I walk up to the door and then opened it...I am hit with a whiff of athletic feet smell and I think heavy muggy sweat.  Being I am a man with a foot fetish for women with beautiful feet; such as my wife..I could not imagine her feet smelling like what I was witnessing...it made me gag.  A stubby short caucasian man walks over to me and takes it upon himself to assist me.  

The short stubby man proceeds to tell me their is no class at the current moment I was there to witness a class.  I need not say I was irritated.  Irritated because on the day that I called before now I was told a class would be in session.  I am sure whomever answered the phone knew there was going to be a festival that day up in Boulder.  I didn't let this discourage me from joining.

I was giving a sheet of paper in which pricing and times were listed for the seeker.  I was all cocked locked and ready to rock when I read the payment option and it said $420 paid in full for Kung fu and Tai chi lessons.  It proceeded to say how it would be like 35 dollars a month with a years paid membership.  When I read it online I thought one would get to pay $35/monthly until the year was paid off...naw man...they want the money up front.  I don't have 420 just sitting around...I got to earn and save that. 

I did expect to get a chinese instructor.  I mean they say this is Chinese Kung fu.  I don't know if I am disappointed or skeptical.  White folks don't  show a lot of soul nor fluid of movement when practicing their art form.  I watched as the dude speaking with me tried to show me similar movements in Tai Chi and Tiger style.  He was not fast because I saw his shoulders move back before he recoiled with something that looked like a Tiger palm push. Hell its not being racist cuz even if a black dude was running a center...I would wonder about his affiliation or if he wanted to be chinese.

I am going to join in the near future.  Tuesday they are having classes again so I may just pop up.

SNOW & RAIN

It was fuckin' snowing today.  It started off as rain.  I woke up at 1:45 a.m.  to get ready for work and when I looked out the window I seen drizzle.  Agggghhhhh!  I am going to get soaked today. 

None the less I got soaked.  My clothes got heavy as I pushed on through my work day.  If it wasn't for my ipod; I don't know if I could do this job.  Commercial trash ain't as easy as it looks.  

BOOTS

I need new boots.  I bout wore the soles off of these that I got.  I also got a puncture type hole in the bottom.  I found out how frustrating this is when water started sucking up inside my boot.  Squish Squash!  I was pissed and not to mention walking on water with cold toes.  Cold toes is enough to make a muthafucka quit a job especially in 30° weather.  I am not spending $140 this year on some bullshit ass boots.  Last year I bought these so called water proof boots and wouldn't you know it after 8 hours out in the snow...my feet were wet.  Gore Tex and water proof is bullshit!  I did peep out some boots that I think I will try this year they are called boggs .

 NON DRIVING MEXICAN

A dumb ass mexican dude can't drive.  I was backing up to service a 3yd container.  I had my 4 ways on and this fool pulls right up on the truck.  He could have done as all the other cars do; go around me...but he pulls right up on the side of my truck.  I get out and put on my gloves and I turn around and there this fool is with the screw face.  He starts to inch up and around my truck and I can see him mumbling something and looking at me.  He bomps his horn.  I am irritated now and I throw up my arms like "Whats Up bitch"?  He goes around the truck and bomps his horn again.  I wanted to fade this fool just because he was being dumb.

 SHAO-LIN KUNG FU
A-God (Aaron) a fellow nuwaubian brother had told me about some classes he is taking in Georgia within a Shao-lin temple/center.  Come to find out that they have classes here also.  I have never took martial arts before; even though I have always had a respect for the arts, I just never got involved.  I look at my body, my lack of discipline and my age and I am like damn!!!  You have been wanting to do Tai Chi for some years...why not join?  

I am formulating my questions to ask when I go in to see the place and the instructors.  I called them this evening and Tom was the guy who answered the phone.  He told me of days I could come in and times.  I will go this Saturday and check it out.

 STUDYING
Last shadow hours I laid in the bed reading the Holy Tablets.  I have been in active in our doctrine for a good minute.  I am overstanding that my light is getting dim.  I have swayed so far from the discipline and spiritual sciences that I feel out of place.  

I cracked open the Holy Tablets and began reading about the Haalabeans/Hulub.  Flugelrods.  

Also about their Adam and Even and our Adam and Eve.  Our Adam is properly entitled Zakar who was came via semjasa.  His parents were Atum and Lillith.  Most people don't know of this.  Most people don't care.  Yet it excited me to re read about the Cuthites.  I felt as if new information was forming in my mind as I grasped the knowledge on each page.   I have read this knowledge over and over and even still today it hits me like a punch to the chest.

My studying came to an abrupt end when the Goddess came and kissed me behind my knee as I laid on my stomach taking notes and reading.  It shocked me and put me in a disagreeable mood.  I need to let her know that when one is studying their sciences it is wise to stay away until the studies are over.  She didn't know.

Those who have known via this blog knows that I have been struggling for some years with my career path.  A lot of second guessing myself and self beat down.  If you are tired of hearing it...I don't give a fuck.  Its my blog and I need to release it. 

Currently I work as a commercial driver for Waste Mgmt...I have been here since Dec 08 and I am coming up on my full year in 2 months and some week.  I am 36 now and beginning to see where this stagnant action is doing to me.  I come home muscles aching, fatigued, bruises and bumps not to mention unfulfilled.  Being unfulfilled is the worst part of it.  Don't get me wrong though there are perks about being a commercial trash dude.  I pick up big containers not peoples houses.  I rarely get dirty from trash...more so from the elements of nature or maybe grease from the mechanics doing a sloppy ass job greasing the fittings.  I don't have to worry about anyone over my shoulder all day, I am in control of my time and how fast or slow I need to go to complete my route, I don't have to dress in them stiff ass clothes,  I get lots of freakin' exercise and I get to see my city, I make more than people think a trash dude would make...alot more.  These perks all good and shit but it comes down to fulfillment.  My contribution to my community and my nation.  I don't want to be remembered as that ol trash dude. Naw.  I want to be remembered as a Nuwaubian who contributed a service to his people of exquisite quality.

(Wearing them dark safety glasses gave me raccoon eyes)

I have overlooked a habit of mines.  Somewhere in my-story I have developed a habit of not completing what I start.  I noticed this because while I was at work and pissed off at the work I was doing I got to thinking of my talents and what could I expand on and make into a career.  I then begin to think of the perks of a job I want.  I want to be in a six figure status annually or more, I want to dress fresh and be smelling good while working, I want to be fulfilled at what ever I do.  My top choices have always been Art, Law or Education.

Law is out.  I thought about being a police officer...but I don't wanna get shot or have to work around cocky sons of bitches, I thought about being a lawyer but by the time I seriously considered this I had a family and wife.  I can't drop my responsibilities and run off to school.  My family needs me now...so this was out.  I went to school for multimedia and webdesign...I quit that program cuz I did not like programming...I switched over to computer animation and media design...I bought equipment, licenses and all types of programs and books and hardware...just to turn around and feel like it will take me too long before I can earn a profit doing this...animation is some hard shit.  I then went and signed up to start classes at home for photography...I have been reading my lessons and have projects due but I am un motivated to complete this schooling.  I thought about being a teacher...but I don't like kids...I thought about being a relationship therapist or family therapist....but they come out of school only making 40,000 a year...that is 60,000 away from securing a six figure annual income.

Now me not finishing what I started has resulted in $46,000 I owe sallie mae for just 3 years of school and 1 year away from my BA.  Working a job not a career, a confused and stagnant mind.  Me not accomplishing my goals.  I decided that I have to be consistent on finishing what I start.  So I am going to put off being a therapist and all that shit and place 100% of my focus on this photography.  This one step in crushing out me being inconsistent.

The elusively inquisitive mind:
Our 11 year old has a birthday coming up next week.  Trying to think of a present to get her I become confused and frustrated because I don't know what kids desire around this age.  In a conversation between her and I she brings up the fact that her birthday is next week and she proceeds to speak on what she feels she should get.  What nerve.

The imaginative mind toils:
She goes into verbal mind chatter.  An electric guitar whom brand/name escapes me...but I know it is an expensive guitar around a grand or so.  She speaks of The Sims 3 video game.  Plus other things she has not earned the right to have.  I say that because everything digital that she receives she either loses or breaks.  She has ipods, video games, guitars, cameras...and she can't tell u how any of them came up missing or broken.

The requests:
Her mind settles in on a guitar.  I "want x, y and z" guitar.

The Agreeable Denial:
"Naw...man  you got to be kidding me" I say to her.  She agrees and beats me to the punch " I don't know how to take care of things, I know." " But I really want a new electric guitar"...she says in a whiney but enthusiastic voice.

The Ungreatfulness:
Sitting on her high horse she reveals a thought in her mind "  As long as it don't come from Wal-Marts, I'll take any present".  I swallow spit and drop my head.  I was about to lash her with a talk of being greatful but I didn't.  The look in her eyes let me know she was past reasoning this situation out.

I cannot believe she has nerve to be choosy about what she gets.  As I said on face book...how bout we get her some air wrapped in a nice box.  That didn't get purchased at Wal-Marts.  Comments like these disgust me.

The silence:
I turned to my computer and began typing on facebook and she turned around and finished wiping off the counter in the kitchen and she went into her room and started watching tv.

There it was sitting in the back of the truck.  A lil ol squirrel.  Looking back up at me and I staring back at it.  I holler, move my arms and even try and send him a mental message to get your ass out the back of this garbage truck.  It sits there breathing hard, I knew it was scared.

5 minutes goes by and I am getting tired of this.  So I latch the 300-400lb container to the truck hoping slamming it up against the truck will make it get to moving.  It doesn't.  Just sitting there looking at me with them big ol eyes.  I activate the levers and all the trash comes down onto the critter.  Its a wrap I think, unless it ran out the side.

On another day fatigue is setting in...pushing about 600lbs to the truck.  Grip it on and dump it...activate the lever to scoop up the garbage and something shoots out the side of the truck like lightning.  Lands on its head and rolls and takes off running.  That shit scared me cuz I wasn't expecting it.  It was a Raccoon.

The lesson I learned was this:  If you sit still too long when u should be moving the world will shit on u.   You got to be able to move and take the bumps and bruises if u wanna survive.

CHOOSING VEGETARIAN

It did not just happen.  I has been a thought in process since like 95.  I just couldn't bring myself  to do it.  I couldn't imagine eating tomatoes all day or lettuce.  So gradually I kept giving up certain foods...in 92 I gave up pork.  97-98 Beef...2009 Ground Turkey and Chicken.  I eat fish now;  maybe...but pretty soon that will be gone too.

What pushed me over the edge to finally do it.  It was a video.  Them folks was grinding up 1 day old baby boy chicks.  That is fuckin' ruthless.  I think of the youth of animals, people whatever and if people were doing that to our children...would I support them in doing it.  Hell naw...so I can't support mutilation and ruthless killings of animals...plus it feels a little too barbaric for me.

 Check out the site:  http://www.chooseveg.com/   watch hatchery horrors and pig farm....this is what did it.

DOCTORS VISIT
I said on FB that I went and got everything checked at the doctors.  People automatically assume...something is wrong.  Naw man...the only thing may be stress...but I get checked out to know;  not believe that I am 100% healthy.  I don't give a fuck what test it is...give it to me..so I can know if I am good or if I got something I need to work on.  Black man/ Nubian Man...know thyself...don't believe u r ok...check it out.  You can believe your car is running great but don't know about the nail in your back tire.

I gave 6 viles of blood to check everything from my cholesterol level to my kidneys to Hiv and Aids.  I want to know it all...even though I know I am good...but blood pressure may be an issue...cuz folks be gettng high blood pressure and don't know it...but I think I am good on blood pressure.  Piss test for STD's ...syphillis, gonoreahh (however u spell it), chlamidiyah, herpes and what ever else they can detect in piss...I ain't worried about that either...the last time I had an std I was like 16 it was chlamidiya .  After that...cleanliness ever since.  I even got my belly pressed, my nuts held in the doctors hand as I turned my head and coughed.

(The medical assistant didn't mind if I took the pic)

(Look at that blood just flowin')

I lost weight too.  I guess working on them garbage trucks cuts weight in half.... cuz 6 months ago I was 230lbs...now I am 219.  I was like wow!!!  I can't even see it.  That is a miracle...now I just need to get some cut and less fat and mr. sexy fresh will be here.

I took Xrays for my neck...cuz sometimes I get a lil click when I roll my head.  So he said we are looking for Arthritis...I am like what?  Naw mannnnnn...when you hear arthritis...u immediately feel old.

I hate the doctors office...but it must be done...especially when getting older...cuz folks is dying of silly shit...like colon cancer.  Man...that is the only thing I didn't get checked...but its hard to imagine folks going up ur ass and looking around.  It has to be done so I need to suck it up  and get it done...in the near future of course.

 VEGETARIAN MEALS

(Tues Dinner)

(Weds Dinner)

The wife and I made a decision to be vegetarians.  This is our second day on our new approached way of life and it is pretty freakin' kewl.  My lil ol stankin' daughter says that is boring to be a vegetarian...but hell she is bored about everything.  I decided to make a carrot cake for my wife today because it is one of her favorites besides pineapple upside down cake.

I don't do store bought nothings when I cook.  I want to give my family good and wholesome foods.  So I take the time to learn and apply.  Now on Face Book today...me saying I am making a cake took a conversation in a whole different direction.  Thanks to my bud Angel she gave me the ideal to post that conversation from face book on my blog..so after the pics..yall can trip on that conversation.

(I got that ol cake here in my blackberry)

(Just Bought this to learn about our new diet)

(Shredding Carrots)

(Don't use baby chix no more...this is the eggs we use...its not chicken)

(Some oil in the mix)

(Crusty Fingers and Vanilla)

(Applesauce into the mix for moistness)

(Blended Batter)

(Cakes in the pans)

(Baking is starting)

(Raw Frosting Mix)

(Whipped CreamCheese Frosting)

(Cook Cakes 20 mins left)

(Cooling Cakes)

(The wifes Salmon marinated)

(Freakin' awesome fish)

(Simplicity but great...gotta do away with that white rice and get some grain)

Aint no master froster...but its on there man.

(Her Slice)

As my daughter is riding to Florida she is talking about all the clothes she wants.  Polo (Ralph Lauren), Skinny Jeans and some other fashions I can't remember because it is senseless talk to me.  I actually just zone out...and I hear blah blah.  I don't intentionally do it, it just happens.  She goes on talking and asks me about liking skinny jeans.

I am like no...I don't like them.  She says why?  Because they are not for men...I say with irritation in my tone.  Well I think they are kewl she retorts.  Uggghhhh...I say within side. My daughter is super sensitive and any little thing will put her in that sulking mood.  So she goes on to say boys at her school rock skinny jeans and its fresh.  I am like mannnnnnn come on.  Now the new thing is young boys are wearing girl jackets with skinny jeans.  They are saying that is the style.  This is freakin' crazy.

The other day I was on The Boss Mack Topsoils blog and he had an entry about a dance in LA called "Jerkin".  I watched the You Tube vid on it and I got sick as fuck.  Boyz in tight ass jeans (skinny Jeans) shaking they ass all in the street, with little back packs on and sagging them tight as jeans.  I know we all went through our phases of fads...but looking like a gay dude...and you are straight is not fresh.

Next thing you know niggas will be wearing thongs and have lower back tattoos saying it is gangster if you represent your thong with your hood color and your lower back tat reps your hood.  

I think I get so concerned because I have a son.  I don't want him thinking this is acceptable...on any level...Now just picture me out there like that...not a pretty site.

The Mistake
During the week we do not have the option of spending time at a park with our son due to our work schedules and the tiredness one feels after slaving all day.  So I make a promise.  On Saturday ( he being 3 really does not comprehend what that means) I will take you to the playground and the park.  Teeth showing with a gracious smile...the begging ceases.

I guess because children don't focus on too much at one time all they can remember is that which was promised to them because they really wanted it or really wanted to do it.  So Saturday he asks me "Is it Saturday?"  I am like "yes it is".   "We are going to the park today?"  I tell him "yes we are."  His teeth show with that gracious smile.

The Annoyance
"Are we going to the park?" "Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?""Are we going to the park?"  I continually give the same answer...yes, when mommy gets off work.  Sheesh man...he was driving me looney toons. 

Traits of the Sand People
Rude, aggressive and selfish.  Man these lil folk were running all over the place, breaking every safety rule designed to keep them safe.  Throwing sand down the slide, trampling each other, running back up the slide,  bullying each other for a turn on the ride or object of their choice.

My son goes up on this contraption to go down the slide.  A little hispanic girl blocks his way in and tells him he can't go down the slide without a handful of sand.  My son looked at her like huh?  What ya say?  I got upset and blurted out "Hey man go head and go down that slide."  The little girl looked at me like oooops I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.  At this point I was heated.  I don't like that ol bullying...especially when it involves my blood.  Then I begin to think...I need to let him handle his own biz, I can't be the one saving him.  Life of a parent is rough.

Holding his own
On the sand crane he is doing his thing.  Along comes an older hispanic boy.  Not wanting to wait for my son to finish.  He immediately tries to get a turn using the crane while my son was still on it.  My wife hollers out to let him finish his turn.  I stayed silent...cuz I wanted to turn to that lil boy and  say hey mannnnn get your lil bitch ass off the crane, don't you see my boy on it.  So he asks my son in a hurried fashion can I get a turn.  He was expecting my son to get off and accommodate him.  Instead my son look him in his face and said "When I'm done" and proceeded to point to another ride and said "You can play on that one."  My heart leaped for joy.

Punk Bitch Ass Kid.

(The Crane)

A Circle and a Crack
It's time to go after all the punkin', all the sand throwing, screaming and damn near laughing to death...and he like all the other little sand people begin to leak tears; followed with howls of nooooo I'm not finished.  He gets to running away from us and trips.  He gets up and dusts off and realizes he has an owie.  He looked at it and it was a skinned knee.  He analyzed it as the rubbed of skin as the circle and the blood slice in the middle as a crack.  We laughed our asses off.

(Classic Trait of Sand People when its time to go home)

Greatfulness
Even though earlier he annoyed the hell out of me and the park scene made me wanna fade with some kids...his arms around my neck and the sincerity in his words made my heart joyful.  "Thank You Daddy, I Love You"...man!  That is the shit if you don't know.