Still chasing a career

Even when you don't make a choice; you have made a choice.  A couple of weeks ago while in the trenches of commercial cleaning with my aunt and my wife the subject of another business venture surfaced.  My aunt announces by next year she wants to open her own salon.  A salon for men.  She will offer services such as hair cuts and shaves, massages, manicures and pedicures.  I throw out my question..."If I get my license to cut hair you gonna let me work here?"  She smiled and said "yes."  I got excited.

Even though I can draw and do art...I am not producing shit.  I battle every day with what am I going to do with my life as far as a career goes.  I already owe $32,000 in student loans and still didn't graduate with my BA; I got one year left to go.   I thought about law enforcement or a para legal, being a barber, web designer, a minister shit even an old ass porno star.  None the less a desire surfaces of having my own business.  I don't wanna be a labor dude with a cap on my dollar amount.  I want to run a business that I enjoy fully.  The barber thing seems cool...but I did research and them dudes don't really bank big bucks.  As a commercial truck driver I pull in more than $45,000 a year but statistics say on average a barber earns $28,000 a year.  That is kewl if you are single I guess...but with a family and a wife..that shit ain't the business.  At a minimum I want to be 6 figures annually.  

See a weakness of an artist is they are too highly self critical.  I have many ideals of products to produce...yet my rationale and going hard on my skills turns me away every time.  I think I have developed a fear.  I am afraid to spend time and energy pursuing a path and then realize I hate it.  Shit I have already wasted a good amount of time; ya boi will be 35 this year.  I am the result of gangsta rap music and friends, black power mind sets and angry negro mentality.  Without the proper outlet and mind frame you wonder how the hell you ended up where you are. 

Believe me for lack of a better word...I will find my path this year.